


if this is love, then I never want it to end (but then it does)

by Angel_Demon_Princess



Series: Seijou Third Years [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst without a happy ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Sad Ending, car crash, crossposted on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:26:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8415556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Demon_Princess/pseuds/Angel_Demon_Princess
Summary: And he loves them so much but he's just chasing ghosts because they're d e a d.





	

_**If this is love, then I never want it to end (but then it does)** _

 

Hanamaki is laughing,  
and he’s clutching his stomach  
and fat tears are running down his flushed cheeks  
and he’s kicking and flailing on the couch  
because you  
(y o u)  
told him a joke  
and he's adorable  
and you’ve never been more in love–

\--

_Blood is running out of the corner of a still upturned mouth_  
_and he’s too still_  
_and it's unnatural_  
_because he was always,_  
_always moving_  
_but that’s okay_  
_because you’re shaking enough for the both of you–_

\--

Oikawa sets up,  
strong hands ready to catch the ball and toss it up  
and his brown, brown eyes are narrowed  
and his mouth is pressed in a thin line  
and he’s concentrating so much  
you feel electrified simply by standing in his presence–

_\--_

_His hands are mangled and twisted_  
_and his eyes are shut_  
_and blood is running down his temple_  
_and his too big sweater is torn and ruined_  
_and you can’t help but wonder what he’ll think when he sees_  
_but then you realize–_

_\--_

Iwaizumi’s smile lights up your whole world,  
with how rare and precious it is to see,  
and he’s smiling at them and at you  
and you can’t help but beam back at him  
because he’s yours and so are they and you wonder if this is love because it's so nice and you never want it to end–

\--

 _A mouth is open in a silent scream, long since stopped_  
_and an eerie silence is all you hear_  
_(well that’s a lie you know someone’s crying in the background and you know people are shouting for help)_  
_and you can’t help but wish to hear that voice_  
_laugh_  
_or growl_  
_or yell at you once more_  
_because it can’t be the last time it can’t please God no–_

\--

Matsukawa knows he loves them,  
he always has loved them in tiny but important ways  
like the expression on Takahiro’s face when he’s drawing  
or how Tooru smiles (so fake) to fans but then turns and smiles sincerely at him  
or how Hajime looks positively small in the Godzilla hoodie they bought for him on Christmas  
or how warm it is in their shared apartment when they’re all cuddling on the sofa meant for two with a movie playing faintly in the background  
and it’s a mess of arms and feet  
and Issei could stay there forever and never get tired of it because it’s them and that’s enough–

\--

 _And a continuous and final beep is all he hears for days after,_  
_but it’s not his, it’s theirs_  
_and the funeral is horrible and he hates it,_  
_it’s all black and dark and there’s no color_  
_like Hiro’s pink hair_  
_or Tooru's brown eyes_  
_or_ Iwazumi’s _favorite color green_  
_and he knows they would hate it but they can’t_  
_because they’re not there and he is_  
_and it’s just too much for him because he wants to go back to_  
_that warmth_  
_and their gentle kisses_  
_and firm hugs_  
_and he loves them so much_  
_but he’s just chasing ghosts because they’re d e_ a d _._

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? I love kudos, comments, and any kind of feedback! Xox


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